How To Eat Like A Wahoo

By Natalie

   Upon arriving at Mr. Jefferson's University, a wide-eyed and perceptive first-year will quickly observe a number of things: the marvelous architecture, the beautiful landscaping, the friendly residence staff, and the really really horrendous Aramark cuisine being passed off as food in the Dining Halls. Of course a diet of such fare is out of the question, so other options must be explored. One can always order in-College Inn, "Papa" John's, or Chinese--but the enterprising young Wahoo knows that the far more social (and therefore better) thing to do is eat out on the Corner. But where?

Never fear, Cavalier. Hooville is rife with options, but as with much else in life, it's all a question of timing. Sure, Littlejohn's is open twenty-four hours a day, but the time to really be there is between one and three a.m. on a Friday or Saturday night, when the line stretches around the restaurant and out the door into the street. Then you're bound to see everyone you didn't bump into while making the rounds that night (See: Drinking Like a Wahoo). Plan your post-drinking sandwich cravings accordingly.

If you're male, and have a stomach made of steel, feel free to try the White Spot as an alternative. Keep in mind however, that there is much more to this little eating establishment than meets the eye. You may find your manhood threatened if you are not capable of consuming an appropriate number of Gusburgers while all your buddies look on. Note to all Wahoos: whether you are a member of the White Spot crowd or not, the Gusburger, a burger topped with fried egg, is not an option. It is a rite of passage. Sooner or later, it's gonna get you.

The question of timing is also extremely important with the Corner's many bar-centered eateries. For example, even if you can't drink at the bar, do not miss double-wings night at Maarten's, if you want everyone to think that you could drink at the bar if you wanted to. Go to the Greenskeeper on Bar Nights, or for Monday Night Football, or televised UVA football, for that matter. Eat at the Bistro just before a band plays, and you might miss the cover charge. Be seen at Baja. Whine a lot about the disappearance of Macado's. Go to the Biltmore a lot, especially in groups. If your dinners there just happen to coincide with $2 pitcher night, so much the better. Oh, and whatever you do, be sure you call these places by their nicknames, because otherwise you give away your status as a Corner novice. "People will think you eat at O-Hill." And we wouldn't want that, would we?