So You Want to Be a Lawnie?

By Jason Baker

   Your experience at UVa can be many things, but there is one goal that students here should be aiming for and that is to live on the Lawn during their fourth year. It is clear that all students are striving for this, and if you follow a simple plan of action, the dream may come true for you.

The first key is to get involved in as many activities as possible. Remember that the key is quantity, not quality. If you are insignificantly involved in many activities, you are far ahead of someone who really gives a lot to only one or two organizations. Those that don't have a hand in every pot are not worthy of the high honor of living on the lawn.

But it is not just enough to be involved in many activities. You must make sure that you pick the correct activities for which to devote your precious time. Remember that you are not free to participate in what interests you. Rather you must conform to those activities that the University dictates are worthy. Some definite musts are the Jefferson Society, the University Guide Service, Resident Staff, and the Honor Committee. Being on Student Council or in some other sort of political group is also recommended. Without these activities on your record, you will have little luck in obtaining a pint sized room lacking toilet and shower facilities.

Another key to becoming a "Lawnie" is to take really easy classes. Don't think that challenging yourself purely for the sake of learning is smiled upon by the University. Unless you take courses which you know you will be able to "get the grade" in, your GPA will be entirely too low and you will not be viewed as worthy of living on the lawn.

There is one other way to live on the Lawn, although not many people are aware of it. Attempt to join an organization which has its own Lawn room to designate every year to one of its fourth year members. If you can become involved in such an organization (included are the Jefferson Society, the Honor Committee, the Judiciary Committee and some fraternities and sororities), you will cut the number of people you are competing against down to a size where it really doesn't matter what you do or who you are.

So remember, in order to live on the Lawn at UVa, you want to spend your time behaving as you did in high school. Do many activities purely for the sake of putting them on an application and take easy classes so that your GPA is sky high. It is important that you become completely obsessed with trying to get on the lawn. Follow this recipe and with luck, your dream will come true!

ENLT 214M, OCTOBER 1997