As you acclimate yourself to our picturesque grounds and houses, I am sure you will find the transition to Mr. Jefferson's university an easy one. Between football games, Greek rush, and the intimate setting of your housing, making friends should be a breeze. Therefore, my purpose here is not to help you meet people, but, rather, to avoid some.
Few broach the subject, but I think it my duty to relay what so many, including myself, have experienced while walking on the Corner. With any trip to the shops or restaurants on Main Street you are bound to encounter a homeless person. As unfortunate and inevitable this run-in may be, its impact can be lessened with these three simple rules:
With these three rules you are sure to make all your trips to Eljo's much more satisfying. Your four years here are not to be marked by who you helped or much less who you sat down and actually listened to. It is your noble degree from UVA that will launch you into a position where you can solve the world's problems, or just make more money than you ever dreamed. Remember: you can only take care of yourself here in college. The problems of the real world are not your concern, and hopefully never will.
On my honor as a proper U.Va. student, I have neither given nor received aid on this assignment, nor to anyone in need.
ENLT 214M, OCTOBER 1997