Oh God, Dear God-- Where am I? I know What place I'm in, Sure, but Where inside myself Am I? What is this Surf-like pounding In my soul, Telling me I am not whole? Who needs me As much as I need her? Beneath whose breasts Beats a heart Half-empty, aching Like my own To hold and love? Whose life Waits in darkness For my light? Oh God, All these questions Strung pearl-like On a string Of thought-- 'Tisn't what I ought To think or pray. I want selfishly-- Always have-- And despite it all You have given joyfully And past all measure. But not what I want. Not the Universe Wrapped up In human flesh To feel warm Against my own. Oh God! Why make me feel These awful things If they Cannot be mine? Why are there no Answers, even, For my questions?
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