Oh God, Dear God--
	Where am I?
	I know
	What place I'm in,
	Sure, but
	Where inside myself
	Am I?
	What is this
	Surf-like pounding
	In my soul,
	Telling me
	I am not whole?
	Who needs me
	As much as
	I need her?
	Beneath whose breasts
	Beats a heart
	Half-empty, aching
	Like my own
	To hold and love?
	Whose life
	Waits in darkness
	For my light?
	Oh God,
	All these questions
	Strung pearl-like
	On a string
	Of thought--
	'Tisn't what I ought
	To think or pray.
	I want selfishly--
	Always have--
	And despite it all
	You have given joyfully
	And past all measure.
	But not what I want.
	Not the Universe
	Wrapped up
	In human flesh
	To feel warm
	Against my own.
	Oh God!
	Why make me feel
	These awful things
	If they
	Cannot be mine?
	Why are there no
	Answers, even,
	For my questions?

3/17/79

© Fred O'Bryant. All rights reserved.

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